when is enough enough

when is enough enough. it's a tough question, and it's also a tough answer.

it's personal.
When do you know that you are doing enough to lose weight?
when do you know you have lost enough weight?
when do you know it's time to give yourself a break?

I think as scale warriors this is the hardest lesson to learn. We have gotten so used to the constant dieting, the constant back and forth of the scale and then the emotional ups and downs that it can really have an emotional toll.

I've learned not to reveal a specific number of how much weight I need to lose. People get scared when you say anything more than 20. my husband doesn't know how much i weigh, or how much i need to lose, i just mention that I want to look like i did when we met, and he seems happy with that response.

when i lost the first 20 pounds on this journey, i remember feeling like i was floating! it was amazing. my ankles and knees felt like they hadn't in years! Every pound i lose just makes me feel that much lighter. I'll know when i get to the right size for me when i get there. I know that i don't want to be stick thin. I want to look healthy and i want to look attractive, but above all i want to look like me.

sometimes it feels like you are on this journey FOR EVER! and the truth is that, well, you are! this is a lifestyle. But every know and then you stumble. you eat something you shouldn't. and instead of giving into that negative thought process that tells you how you've blown it again and why bother, you need to realize that this was what it was...a brief moment. a minor blip. take a step back and realize that we are human, we stumble, we fall, but we get back up and keep on going.

That's what I'm doing ... i'm going to keep on going!

Scale day is on tuesday...i'll revise my battle plan then.

Scared...

Yesterday my girlfriend stopped by the house. As we were chatting she commented about an email that I had sent out, letting people know about this amazing new path that I have decided to take with my life. She told me that it was very brave.

Brave...I was scared! Terrified in fact. As I was writing that communication, and including the picture I posted yesterday, it meant that I had to be really honest with a lot of people. My husband never knew how much I weighed, either at my heaviest or now! And to put it out there for the whole world to see meant that I had to stop hiding behind this fear.

The whole night I thought about this conversation.
FEAR had held me back.
FEAR had kept me fat.
FEAR had kept me unhealthy.
FEAR made me unhappy.

I don't want to live in FEAR anymore. I want to enjoy my life and live it to it's fullest. But above all I want to help other people get out from under that fear and live a healthy life.